So your new boo cheated before? Chill, it’s not all doom and gloom
Dating someone with a history of cheating can be a gamble. The age-old question lingers: are they destined to betray your trust again? Couples therapists offer a glimmer of hope, debunking the myth of the eternal cheater.
While a checkered past raises concerns, Dr. Judy Kibet, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes that people can change. Her research found many former cheaters don’t repeat their mistakes. However, the key lies in their willingness to confront their actions.
![Am I a cheater if I cheated once?](https://modenwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/catch-cheater.jpg)
So, is once a cheater always a cheater? Here are some hopeful signs your partner is reformed:
- Owning Up to the Past: A voluntary disclosure about past infidelity, even if uncomfortable, indicates honesty and a desire for a transparent relationship.
- Understanding the “Why”: Their explanation, without excuses, reveals self-awareness. Owning shortcomings, like seeking validation elsewhere, shows a willingness to address the root cause.
- Respecting Your Skepticism: Genuine remorse involves accepting your doubts and criticism. A partner who guilt-trips or gets defensive is likely avoiding accountability.
Someone with a longer pattern of infidelity is definitely more likely to cheat again than someone who’s only done it once, unless they’ve done serious work on themselves/PHOTO COURTESY - A One-Time Misstep: While emotional or physical cheating are both hurtful, the frequency matters. A single lapse may be situational, while a pattern suggests deeper issues.
- Taking Action for Change: Therapy demonstrates a commitment to self-improvement. Additionally, apologizing to past partners and actively working on communication skills all point towards genuine reform.
Is once a cheater always a cheater? Note, these signs aren’t guarantees. However, they offer valuable insights into your partner’s character and willingness to build a trustworthy relationship.
If they have truly learned from their mistakes and are actively working to be better, your relationship has a fighting chance. Also is good to know that there are a lot of reasons someone might have an affair, and there are lots of reasons they might have an affair more than once.