Nairobi Nights: Thin Walls, Big Trouble. Confessions of a Single-Room Dad on the 3 AM Symphony, When Parents and Kids Share a Space.
This life of Nairobi is sometimes very tricky especially if you do single room parenting. Like say you live in a single house with your wife and kids. Two-year-old twins. You share the same bed since you think they’re too young to sleep alone on the floor.
You get home at 2am, smelling of pilsner. You tiptoe to bed, hoping not to wake anyone. But your wife is wide awake, waiting for you since 8pm. It’s one of those nights – she’s simmering, and you know exactly what’s coming.
She demands her conjugal rights, claiming it’s long since you removed her “rust.” You groan about the kids, worried you’ll wake them, promising to service her tomorrow.
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Her response is a steely glint in her eye. “If you don’t climb me,” she says, “tomorrow I’ll find someone to climb me for you.”
With a sigh, you give in to the threat. You’re giving your last, tired thrusts when you accidentally kick one of the twins off the bed. Your daughter. Her mother scoops her up quickly, tucking her back in and whispering reassurances about dreams.
After a few minutes, assuming sleep has reclaimed them, you try to resume. As the bed creaks again, you hear the barely-there whisper from your daughter to her sister: “Jishikilie usianguke wameanza tena” (Hold on tight, don’t fall, they’ve started again).
That’s when you know you’ve failed spectacularly. This life of Nairobi, Ever dreamt of living in a studio apartment with your toddler who adores practicing their opera skills at 3 am? No? Well, welcome to the wild world of single room parenting!